Happy Mother's Day to my mom

Happy Mother's Day Mommy!

I was not the first baby to call you Mommy, but I was the last, and therefore it must have been sweeter, and harder, for you to watch all my firsts. Watching me roll for the first time, say your name for the first time, and take those first few steps of freedom, knowing I would be your last child to watch those firsts.

I say this because I now know how special, how intimate, those firsts are for a mom. I understand now what it feels like to not want to put my baby down while he naps, just like you always told me that you never wanted to put me down. I can't imagine how it will feel to have Cillian crawl away from me for the first time, and I now understand how hard it must have been to see me crawl out of the room, my blankie trailing between my legs, as I discovered the adventures of another room, a room away from my mommy.

I'm sorry I was a little jerk sometimes. I'll blame my hormones, but really I can blame you and daddy, because you raised me to give my opinion, stand up for myself, and for that I am forever grateful. I hope you are proud of my integrity, even if it means having to deal with someone who doesn't back down.

Thank you for forgiving me for doing stupid things, but also thank you for teaching me the hard way that sometimes it's hard to forgive people, but we have to forgive and forget. You have never thrown one of my mistakes back in my face, which must be very hard not to do. This builds trust, and you and daddy have taught me that trust is something you earn, something that you respect, and something that you should never take advantage of. Thank you for teaching me this.

As I look down at my little boy, I can't believe you loved me as much as I love him, but I know you did. And that makes me feel like an even bigger jerk. So sorry for all the crap I said or did. ALL of it. If I could take it all back I would, but then how would I have learned all those lessons....

I hope this Mother's Day will be extra special, since it's the first one we will get to share.

Xoxoxox
Your baby girl,
Emily