2012: reflections of a year past.

So, here we are. 2012 has finally come to an end and, like every year, we all hope 2013 will be bigger and brighter.

2012 was quite a year. After trying to get pregnant for the last three months of 2011, we were elated that January 2012 was the month that little Cillian decided to start growing inside me. This meant that I was pregnant for 10 of the 12 months of 2012. I loved being pregnant. I loved every ache and pain. I loved watching myself get bigger, and bigger and then even bigger than I thought my little body could handle. I loved feeling the first little flip of a 18 week old fetus while I was on a layover in St. John's, Newfoundland.  I loved feeling the even bigger movements that came when the poor little guy was running out of space.  I loved finding out he was going to be a boy, and I loved the process of picking out his name and falling in love with the little man who would soon burst into our little family.


When Cillian was born, our lives were turned upside down in the most wonderful way imaginable.  Everything people say about having a child is right.  You find love for that little someone, with whom you've just met, instantly.  The mama bear feeling was also instant, and I knew from the second he was born I would take anyone down who ever wanted to mess with him. We settled into our lives as new parents, and as a new little family of three in 2012.

The flip side of 2012 was heartbreak and loss. Never in my 31 years have I had such a year of mourning.  The three funerals I attended, two while pregnant and one with Cillian in a carseat, were for people who I was very close to at some point in my life.  The last funeral, for my cousin Tim, was the hardest for me because his attitude and spirit seemed the strongest of anyone I have ever known.  Our extended family has had so much illness and stress that we were all very happy to put 2012 to rest last night.

So I have a plan to jump feet first into 2013, with a positive attitude and a swing in my step.  If I learned anything from 2012, it's that life is short, but always has a new beginning after an end.

So here's to new beginnings, baby smiles and laughter to you and yours this January 1st, 2013.

Happy Tuesday!